VHS Still Relevant at the Fresno County Library
FRESNO PUBLIC LIBRARY- Good news for the VHS this week coming from Fresno Public Library. The near extinct media format VHS has once again been checked out more than books for the 16th consecutive year.
A recent CSU study attempted to determine the cause of this phenomenon. Originally it was hypothesized that literacy rates were the culprit. This theory was later reputed when students discovered that an average of thirty library patrons a day actually read the VHS cover of the royalty inspired farce "King Ralph" which was over ten times the patrons who read the Library's daily subscription to the New York Times. The CSU Fresno study also found that Fresno and it’s Central Valley cohorts had the distinction of being the only area where this phenomenon occurred in Non-square states. Library president and Fresno Pacific University alumni Barbara Schulter, when asked about the phenomenon said that; in 1998 after the trend really started to take hold they were considering removing non-educational films altogether but recanted this idea after a fear that the entire Valley library system might fail to exist if the decision were to go through. “Before the internet was in most households we at least had young teenagers taking a healthy interest in literature involving African tribal dances and proper breast examinations. Now the only kids of that age that come through here are checking out a copy of Splash and leaving as fast as the came“.
With Blu-Ray, DVD, and streaming digital media becoming available in more and more households in the United States and the Fresno Public Library’s reluctance to update its movie selections to the new century, it was suspected that in 2008 the written word may once again reign supreme. To the surprise of most there was an actual increase in VHS rentals. Some contribute this to the faltering economy. Cities like, Seattle, San Francisco, and Austin saw the economy influence an increase in books like Grapes of Wrath, Nothing to Fear, or even the Communist Manifesto. During this same period Fresno saw an increase in the rental of the VHS box set of “Good Times” and someone also stole a copy of Mein Kampf.
When the Fresno hornet was interviewing library patrons in the VHS section the Hornet found an actual deep disdain for the written word with more than 10 persons desiring for literature itself to “suck it.” The Hornet did find a single wayward soul perusing the philosophy section. The individual requested to stay anonymous to avoid ridicule at work and a weekly poker tournament. The anonymous Tower dweller claimed the “distraction of a VHS is normal for people with pointless lives, bad marriages, and little to look forward to that doesn’t involve a deep fryer” as he folded his copy or Heidegger’s, Between Good and Evil, into the magazine cover of MMA monthly.
BY THE NUMBERS-
Jurassic Park -77 vs. The Origin of Species - 3
Death to Smoochy - 22 vs. Fatalism - 1
Surf Ninjas - 98 vs. Yi Jing - 3
Fraiser Season 1 - 51 vs. A Life of Jung - 0
King Ralph - 111 vs. King Leer - 2
Striptease - 93 vs. Naked Lunch - 43
War of the World - 18 vs. War and Peace - 0
The Princess Bride - 29 vs. The Prince - 1
Schindlers List - 2 vs. Harry Potter - 54
Jean Luc Godard Box Set - 1 vs. DaVincci code - 67